17th December 2009 (Xmas do)

A quick reminder of last week's 'Grand day out' for those that went. And for those that didn't, apologies for the long story, but there's a lot to pack in.

We met under snow laden-skies last Thursday at The Blue Ball in Walton on the Hill at about 13:00. The 'we' being a disparate band comprising Robin,Kevin,Pete,Danny, Az, Mr C. and myself.

The Blue Ball was to provide us with sustenance for the long day of 'hard boozing' that lay ahead and a flurry of sandwiches arrived just as we were in a heated discussion about Barber versus GRE (1990). It was also noted at this juncture that the number of hounds in employment were outnumberd by those 'resting' by 3 to 4. A sign of the times.

After the pesky eating was out of the way we moved on to The Chequers to get down to some serious drinking in a very pleasant setting. So pleasant was it, that Pete busied himself with concoocting plans for getting one of the bar tables home with him. After a couple of pints here or maybe 3 it was time to head off again and to say adieu to Az and Mr C.

The next pub was The Hare & Hounds, where Danny regaled us with tales of what the bar-maid was prepared to get up to by way of keeping her patrons happy. Tony and Brammers joined us at this stage. I'm sure there's no connection.

With great reluctance Pete supped up his ale and we left the bar-maids dubious charms and ventured out into the wilds of Banstead Heath. It being dark now we had the devil's own job of avoiding the puddles on the muddy track that leads up to 'The Rat'. Unfortunately the Rat doesn't open until 17.30 and we'd arrived some 10 minutes earlier and so stood outside trying to stay warm by the glow of a Marlboro lite. A car pulled up and an old fella, who we mistakenly took to be the landlord shouted out of the window "what are you fookers doing there? Get the b4stard to open up, I'm dying for a drink". It seemed a sensible plan and we complied.

Once we'd roused the landlord we enjoyed a few games of bar billiards whilst warming ourselves by the side of a roaring log fire. All was well in the world of the Hounds.

But soon enough it was time to say goodbye to Brammers and to head off to Banstead station for the train back into Purley. Tony kindly gave us all a lift to the station - have you ever seen a car packed with 6 Hounds, 5 of whom were slightly worse for wear?

Tony disgorged his merry cargo at the station with 13 minutes to go until the next train. More than enough time to visit the local 'offy' and purchase a pack of Sol for the journey. Danny was startled to hear Pete's mate, Troy, speaking to him over the railway Station's assistance intercom and the journey into Purley was taken up with a game of sh1thead, which Pete lost.

On arriving in Purley, Danny showed me the alleyway and exact spot where he lost his virginity - which was nice - and we finally we made it to The Jolly Farmers for the quiz.

Going under the sobriquet of 'A hound is not just for xmas' we were somewhat surprised, given our addled state, to be leading after the first round. Even more so to be leading after the second. By this stage it was snowing heavily and the night seemed to be enchanted

But something went awry with the third round and somehow we conspired to finish six points off the lead and in third place. Unfortunately no-one i have spoken to so far can recall any of the questions so no idea what happened there. Danny did point out that the state of our answer sheet, ripped to shreds and soaked with beer and pernod and covered in some drunkard's scrawl, may have had something to do with it.

Then to top the night off, our arch rivals 'Quizzards Sleeve' walked off with the £450 raffle prize. At this point I cried into my Pastis and took my leave as I wasn't sure about the look of the band that were playing. 'As gay as Christmas' was Robin's assessment.

Suffice to say Kevster rioted on the bus on his way home.

Plans are afoot to hold a similar 'Summer Hound do' possibly incorporating the final night of the quiz league, which is sometime in May. So listen out for further announcements.