配方猎犬

 

Stardate August 6-15 and the away team had landed on a rocky outcrop known as the Purley Arms, frequented by the flotsam and jetsam from all 4 corners of the universe (if the universe indeed does have corners). A ‘wretched hive of scum and villainy’ and that was just our table.

 

Unable to escape we were forced to imbibe some sort of amber liquid, which slowly rendered us senseless, and then subjected to a 2 hour interrogation by the evil empress Sio Bhan.

 

First up was Dingbats. All of which were easily despatched apart from ENTURY *

 

Second round was current affairs, the first of which vexed us no end. Something along the lines of “what have biologists challenged the UK to come up with a top 10 of ?”.

“What madness is this?” I hear you ask 

“Exactly” I reply (I’m not much of a conversationalist)

Biology, as I’m sure you will agree, is a bit of a wide remit ranging as it does from Amoebas to Zebras so we plumped for insects which I believe was right.

 

Round 3, as it’s popularly known, was Cowboys, Indians and Outlaws (I know what I am, but which are you?)

This round’s most vexatious question was what custom did some Indian Tribe introduce? We were torn between scalping and war paint, as is so often the case but it turned out to be Ghost dancing. (For some reason, someone has written ‘Daren Sucks cock’ on the answer paper at this point. I hope it wasn’t me).

 

Round 4 -Loads of various people, Aldrin, Hanks, Murdoch but no obvious connection. Graham postulated, Steve Pontificated, Kevin Conjectured and Robson re-arranged himself, all to no avail. We got it into our heads that they were characters from Toy Story but turns out that they’d all appeared on the Simpsons.

 

10 pointers I think we managed all 3 which, if my maths is correct, equals 30 points (Robson, please confirm). The only one I can remember is Glandular Fever. Another one that I remember is the League of Nations.

 

I have no notes for the second half – the amber liquid was obviously kicking in by that stage.

 

There was a round where every answer started with an I. I think we aced it. Aye, we did.

 

On to the housewives favourite, the Jeopardy round (Jeopardy jepərdē –Noun = danger of loss, harm, or failure: synonyms: in danger · in peril) If I’d known any of this, I wouldn’t have entered, I’m not sure my Insurance covers me for this.

Anyway, enough of such ramblings, we swerved one question on the basis that we had the 3 x 10 pointers in the bag (It is 30 isn’t it Robson?). Much to Steve’s chagrin it turned out that the proposed answer of Hurling was actually right but no matter, onto the music. 

 

I cannot recall any of the music but helpfully at this stage someone has added to the notes “Daren is a Puff”. I know what you’re thinking - but who did the original?

 

Scores ranged from 80 – 154 with the Hound managing one of those.

 

Robson bought me a vodka to celebrate and then I woke up to the alarm telling me it was 6:10. Had it all been some weird dream? Tune into next week’s episode to find out.

* Long time no C