Tony, Danny, Tina, Daren, Robson Hound, El barnetto, Alistair, Kevster and Nicky did not go to the Jolly Farmers last night.
They did not enter a team with an amusing twist on the theme of hounds and they did not drink copious amounts of alcohol.
Theo may have turned up on time or he may have been late - we just dont know.
The opening round probably contained 30 questions on random themes, some of which we would have got right, others not.
A Team that didn't contain the word Hound in it's title was in the lead at this point (Lead - geddit? Hound, Lead !!)
There were 2 more rounds and Theo was probably relieved at not having to artificially massage the Hound's score down to keep all the other teams happy.
Strangely Kevster's family team won and proceeded to bombard him with texts about how we were too scared to take them on.
There was no rioting and then the raffle was drawn and none of us won - again!!
Hoorah for The Hound - Transmission ends..................
Sunday, 31 January 2010
25th September 2009
Jolly Farmers, Purley – Thursday 25th September 2009
Those attending: Tina Bear, El Barnetto, Robson Hound, SmithD2 and That Kevster
I’ve never been too sure what it takes to establish ‘a tradition’ but I would suggest that several, consecutive, Thursday evenings spent quaffing beer and being baffled by a Pub’s Quiz scoring system pretty much constitute one. Thus the generally knowledgeable collective, loosely referred to as ‘The Hound’, gathered for its latest, traditional, shenanigans.
The positioning of the ‘pre-match meal sub-report’ in these writings is always a potential minefield – I am choosing to address the matter earl y doors and thus leave room for some ‘post-match munchies’ reporting later on. I have it from the various horses’ mouths that they individually enjoyed a multi-filling baguette from Upper Crust, an omelette, a Mr Wimpy meal and a ham, egg & chips dish. At the risk of propagating another tradition I shall invite those readers not present to match the diners to the dishes. In terms of my own pre-match prep I fell from last weeks’ standard of fine-dining, but poisoned, scallops to a lowly, post-gym, vaguely chocolate flavoured, protein-shake. Nowhere near as nice on the palate but it stayed inside me for a bit longer – for which I’m grateful.
And so to the quiz. If indeed what followed can be called ‘A Quiz’.
Initial suspicions were quickly confirmed when an irksome little prole announced that our tradit ional Question Master was away and that, in the tradition of the totally pointless Supply Teacher, he would be standing in his stead and demanding answers from us. At this stage it’s fair to say we were already unhappy. The winds of change had begun to blow.
So as not to baffle The Irksome Little Prole, we decided not to continue our hilarious series of ‘variation-on-The-Hound’ themed team names and just plumped for ‘The Hound’. Plain and simple.
And so to the first round. The usual fare – SmithD2 complained of fewer than usual, ‘… is it A)… or is it B)…’ type questions – but Robson Hound declared himself pleased it was so. As if to emphasise D2’s point the evening’s real stinker reared its open-ended head here. The question was, ‘In cockney rhyming slang wha t does Steffi Graff mean?’ We said ‘laugh’. The Prole later, absurdly, gave the answer as ‘bath’. I could give all sorts of proof for the accuracy of our answer (http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/slang/steffi_graf; http://www.thornton-cleveleys.co.uk/cockney.htm; http://www.londonslang.com/db/s/) but The Prole was having none of it. And so to Andre Agassi – when he’s ‘having a Steffi’ do you imagine him to be, a) bathing or, b) chuckling gently to himself?!
The Irksome Little Prole then ran through the Round 1 scores – all of which were a good 30% down on what we have, traditionally, become accustomed to under the Traditional Question Master. We were somewhere around last.
And so to (the music) round two. And Mrs Bear falling victim to the rapidly spreading, and highly contagious, Rioting Fever. The Hound had done well – we thought we got all but maybe two right. The Irksome Little Prole gave us a new total score that was almost lower than our Round One mark. Mrs Bear rioted. I welled up with a strange mixture of pride and redundancy. Again. No matter. Mrs Bear returned from haranguing The Irksome Little Prole and assured us that all would be taken care of.
And so to the last round. We were mostly good, occasionally unsure and on at least one occasion (what is LANCASTER* an anagram of?) found significantly wanting. Still, to hell with it – The Irksome Little Prole seemed to be making it up on the spur of the moment so we figured we could be in with a chance, depending on those changeable winds. And thus it was we came 4th. At least that’s what I think because there were two teams in joint 3rd. But then 2 minutes later The Irksome Little Prole announced that actually there’d been a tie for 2nd as well. So who knows where we actually came? Vaguely interesting to note that the wining score would, in a traditional week, have come last.
And to cap off a splendid evening some absolute Berk (see what I did there – more rhyming slang) won the £500+ raffle that’s been building up for the last couple of months. Grrrrrrrrrrr. Thereafter the evening took on an ‘end-of-term’ feeling and the air was thick with scrunched up bits of paper being hurled from one disgruntled team20to another – the Quizzard’s Sleeve possibly being the worst culprits. Despite SmithD2’s best efforts when Mrs Bear wasn’t looking.
All that is left is my post-match meal report which consisted of a £1 bag of Yellow Monster Munch and a can of Uri Geller. The very hautest of Haute Cuisine. And the fact that Halle Berry has got fantastic Brad Pitts (Die Another Day is playing in the background as I type this). Fantastic.
Those attending: Tina Bear, El Barnetto, Robson Hound, SmithD2 and That Kevster
I’ve never been too sure what it takes to establish ‘a tradition’ but I would suggest that several, consecutive, Thursday evenings spent quaffing beer and being baffled by a Pub’s Quiz scoring system pretty much constitute one. Thus the generally knowledgeable collective, loosely referred to as ‘The Hound’, gathered for its latest, traditional, shenanigans.
The positioning of the ‘pre-match meal sub-report’ in these writings is always a potential minefield – I am choosing to address the matter earl y doors and thus leave room for some ‘post-match munchies’ reporting later on. I have it from the various horses’ mouths that they individually enjoyed a multi-filling baguette from Upper Crust, an omelette, a Mr Wimpy meal and a ham, egg & chips dish. At the risk of propagating another tradition I shall invite those readers not present to match the diners to the dishes. In terms of my own pre-match prep I fell from last weeks’ standard of fine-dining, but poisoned, scallops to a lowly, post-gym, vaguely chocolate flavoured, protein-shake. Nowhere near as nice on the palate but it stayed inside me for a bit longer – for which I’m grateful.
And so to the quiz. If indeed what followed can be called ‘A Quiz’.
Initial suspicions were quickly confirmed when an irksome little prole announced that our tradit ional Question Master was away and that, in the tradition of the totally pointless Supply Teacher, he would be standing in his stead and demanding answers from us. At this stage it’s fair to say we were already unhappy. The winds of change had begun to blow.
So as not to baffle The Irksome Little Prole, we decided not to continue our hilarious series of ‘variation-on-The-Hound’ themed team names and just plumped for ‘The Hound’. Plain and simple.
And so to the first round. The usual fare – SmithD2 complained of fewer than usual, ‘… is it A)… or is it B)…’ type questions – but Robson Hound declared himself pleased it was so. As if to emphasise D2’s point the evening’s real stinker reared its open-ended head here. The question was, ‘In cockney rhyming slang wha t does Steffi Graff mean?’ We said ‘laugh’. The Prole later, absurdly, gave the answer as ‘bath’. I could give all sorts of proof for the accuracy of our answer (http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/slang/steffi_graf; http://www.thornton-cleveleys.co.uk/cockney.htm; http://www.londonslang.com/db/s/) but The Prole was having none of it. And so to Andre Agassi – when he’s ‘having a Steffi’ do you imagine him to be, a) bathing or, b) chuckling gently to himself?!
The Irksome Little Prole then ran through the Round 1 scores – all of which were a good 30% down on what we have, traditionally, become accustomed to under the Traditional Question Master. We were somewhere around last.
And so to (the music) round two. And Mrs Bear falling victim to the rapidly spreading, and highly contagious, Rioting Fever. The Hound had done well – we thought we got all but maybe two right. The Irksome Little Prole gave us a new total score that was almost lower than our Round One mark. Mrs Bear rioted. I welled up with a strange mixture of pride and redundancy. Again. No matter. Mrs Bear returned from haranguing The Irksome Little Prole and assured us that all would be taken care of.
And so to the last round. We were mostly good, occasionally unsure and on at least one occasion (what is LANCASTER* an anagram of?) found significantly wanting. Still, to hell with it – The Irksome Little Prole seemed to be making it up on the spur of the moment so we figured we could be in with a chance, depending on those changeable winds. And thus it was we came 4th. At least that’s what I think because there were two teams in joint 3rd. But then 2 minutes later The Irksome Little Prole announced that actually there’d been a tie for 2nd as well. So who knows where we actually came? Vaguely interesting to note that the wining score would, in a traditional week, have come last.
And to cap off a splendid evening some absolute Berk (see what I did there – more rhyming slang) won the £500+ raffle that’s been building up for the last couple of months. Grrrrrrrrrrr. Thereafter the evening took on an ‘end-of-term’ feeling and the air was thick with scrunched up bits of paper being hurled from one disgruntled team20to another – the Quizzard’s Sleeve possibly being the worst culprits. Despite SmithD2’s best efforts when Mrs Bear wasn’t looking.
All that is left is my post-match meal report which consisted of a £1 bag of Yellow Monster Munch and a can of Uri Geller. The very hautest of Haute Cuisine. And the fact that Halle Berry has got fantastic Brad Pitts (Die Another Day is playing in the background as I type this). Fantastic.
3rd September 2009
'You'll never win anything with kids' is how the old adage goes and bearing this in mind we fielded a team of 3, all in their 'roaring' forties.
Pre match meals consisted of 1) A pork Pie 2) A Chicken fillet burger 3) two pieces of chicken and chips (Just for fun, see if you can match the meal with the player!! It's an on-line, interactive type of thing)
Using the Dail Mail headlines to come up with our team name, Robin's illegible handwriting lead to the Quiz master mistakenly naming us 'Give me 'BARK' my hound' or possibly 'Give me BACH my Hound'.
A strong opening round was marred only by the failure to spot the made up US town from the list;
Short and round
rough and ready
Monkey's elbow
Virgin's town
We continued to shine in the music round, although Robson seemed intent on answering 'Girls Aloud' to every question, whilst Pete just shouted 'Chubby Checker' at anyone that passed our table.
The final round was the usual mayhem and flurry of torn strips of paper and unsurprisingly we found ourselves in yet another play off.
The tie breaker was - 'What is the square mileage of Wales?'.
Crazily some of the answers given were 17, 243 and 400,000 !!!- We were close with 14,000 (Arrived at using the cunning formula of 100w x 100L + 'some more'). Unfortunately the actual answer was 8,900 ish.
We cried into our collective bears and Pete 'arrivederci' for his holiday. That is all
Pre match meals consisted of 1) A pork Pie 2) A Chicken fillet burger 3) two pieces of chicken and chips (Just for fun, see if you can match the meal with the player!! It's an on-line, interactive type of thing)
Using the Dail Mail headlines to come up with our team name, Robin's illegible handwriting lead to the Quiz master mistakenly naming us 'Give me 'BARK' my hound' or possibly 'Give me BACH my Hound'.
A strong opening round was marred only by the failure to spot the made up US town from the list;
Short and round
rough and ready
Monkey's elbow
Virgin's town
We continued to shine in the music round, although Robson seemed intent on answering 'Girls Aloud' to every question, whilst Pete just shouted 'Chubby Checker' at anyone that passed our table.
The final round was the usual mayhem and flurry of torn strips of paper and unsurprisingly we found ourselves in yet another play off.
The tie breaker was - 'What is the square mileage of Wales?'.
Crazily some of the answers given were 17, 243 and 400,000 !!!- We were close with 14,000 (Arrived at using the cunning formula of 100w x 100L + 'some more'). Unfortunately the actual answer was 8,900 ish.
We cried into our collective bears and Pete 'arrivederci' for his holiday. That is all
13th August 2009
As Pete's obviously not going to get round to it.....
'A sixpack of Hounds' won the quiz aagain last night, coming from behind (Danny)to claim the first prize of a crate of Bulmer's Cider,with no need for a tie break this week.
Mrs El Barnetto made her debut and specialised in films
I'm afraid I was very, very drunk
Hot nuts were the only food on offer.
That just about wraps it up I believe
'A sixpack of Hounds' won the quiz aagain last night, coming from behind (Danny)to claim the first prize of a crate of Bulmer's Cider,with no need for a tie break this week.
Mrs El Barnetto made her debut and specialised in films
I'm afraid I was very, very drunk
Hot nuts were the only food on offer.
That just about wraps it up I believe
6th August 2009
At the start of the 09/10 season the Hound fielded a new looking team. Well, the team looked new but the team members certainly didn't.
Playing under the moniker of 'The return of the hound' and due to a spate of last minute withdrawals and injuries, quiz debuts were handed to Tina and Alistair.
Robin's pre match briefing to Tina was;
"basically we need you to take Kevster's role and if there's anything we see, that we don't like, you riot". This was a role that Tina fulfilled admirably, successfully arguing with the quiz master that Thailand is actually further south than Cambodia and thus winning us an extra point.
The first round kicked things off, which is the norm and, as is the norm, we struggled with the early pace in a round that was quite frankly, eclectic.
However, the second round found us settling down and playing some quite attractive quizzing. This saw us entering the final round in first place. Some particularly pleasing answers were; Maroon5, Beetroot, The Truman Show and Richard III
However, the pace and the pressure started to tell and some tired minds started to make elementary mistakes especially in the True or false round (is it true? Or is it false?)
Unsurprisingly, when the final scores were read out, we found ourselves in a play off with all the other teams.
The tie break question was along the lines of 'What is the highest number of credited actors in a British film' and much to our amazement our answer of 243 turned out to be the closest.
So the Hound claimed the crate of beer and 3 points and Tina and Alistair go away with stats of played 1 won 1.
On to next week then.
Playing under the moniker of 'The return of the hound' and due to a spate of last minute withdrawals and injuries, quiz debuts were handed to Tina and Alistair.
Robin's pre match briefing to Tina was;
"basically we need you to take Kevster's role and if there's anything we see, that we don't like, you riot". This was a role that Tina fulfilled admirably, successfully arguing with the quiz master that Thailand is actually further south than Cambodia and thus winning us an extra point.
The first round kicked things off, which is the norm and, as is the norm, we struggled with the early pace in a round that was quite frankly, eclectic.
However, the second round found us settling down and playing some quite attractive quizzing. This saw us entering the final round in first place. Some particularly pleasing answers were; Maroon5, Beetroot, The Truman Show and Richard III
However, the pace and the pressure started to tell and some tired minds started to make elementary mistakes especially in the True or false round (is it true? Or is it false?)
Unsurprisingly, when the final scores were read out, we found ourselves in a play off with all the other teams.
The tie break question was along the lines of 'What is the highest number of credited actors in a British film' and much to our amazement our answer of 243 turned out to be the closest.
So the Hound claimed the crate of beer and 3 points and Tina and Alistair go away with stats of played 1 won 1.
On to next week then.
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