(DN: I asked for suggestions last night as to the style that I should write this week’s TQSR in and the answers I received were: a Poem, Sports Journal in the Style of Alan Partridge, a Rap and a Foreign Office Travel warning – Obviously this is no easy task on a Friday morning with a hang over but here goes……)
It was an Autumnal Thursday night in Purley
And 5 hounds gathered for the quiz, quite early
Robson, Kevster, Daren and Steve Green
Graham too but ‘Pig’ & Pete were not to be seen
So onto the picture round, this as always is round one
10 photos of Kitchen Implements which promised much fun;
I wandered lonely as an egg whisk
If you can keep your Fish slice when all about you are losing theirs and blaming you
How do I love thee? Let me count the melon ballers.
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately Garlic Press decree
Come friendly colanders and fall on Slough
And so on…………
On to Round 2, this was current affairs
There were lots of people sitting on chairs
9 out of 10 is the score we got
But Clacton on Sea had Graham quite hot
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You join me now in the helicopter as we look down on these Quiz Teams, who look like cattle in a mad way—but cattle doing a quiz.
The next round is Science and Nature – Surely a chance for Robson to flex his intellectual organ and leave it out there for all to see.
Dry Ice – textbook
Lactose – back of the net
Fetlock – kiss my face
Twat! That was liquid quizzing
Round 4 is connections
The atmosphere here hangs heavy, like a big smell. The smell of men together. The smell of cats' musk.
All 10 answered correctly including the connection which was; all items mentioned in ‘We Didn’t start the Fire’, Billy Joel’s ode to Pyromaniacs.
Eat my answers! The quiz mistress has got Hound pie all over her shirt
10 pointers? 2 out of 3, Like a rabid, raging, nuclear hound on heat, who’s gone to a quiz and done quite well, at half time.
As I sit through the round they call the top ten
I take a look at my answer sheet and realize we’ve 7 again
'Coz I've been answerin' and laughin' so long, that
Even my team thinks that my mind is gone
I take a look at my answer sheet and realize we’ve 7 again
'Coz I've been answerin' and laughin' so long, that
Even my team thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain't never crossed an answer that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a Hound you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you're talkin', and where you're walkin'
and answer what the Top 10 Spielberg films be by grossin’
Me be treated like a Hound you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you're talkin', and where you're walkin'
and answer what the Top 10 Spielberg films be by grossin’
Jeopardy
May I have your attention please?
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
of writers cramp (of writers cramp)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my Penalty (come take my Penalty)
We'll walk through Purley Arms together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
His Korean war was sweaty, legs rough, toilets are smelly
There's food on his table already, Mr Benn's wotsits
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to get writers cramp,
But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down,
And I am, the Merchant of Venice
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, the Merchant of Venice
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
So lets go back
Follow the Pope’s plane as we go on another quiz
Journey with me as I take you through Purley Arms
I once used to call home sweet home
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at Trinidad now
And when I'm gone, its just writers cramp, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my sweaty Korean war
Just know that I'm looking down on you and drink
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just talk rubbish
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
of writers cramp (of writers cramp)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my Penalty (come take my Penalty)
We'll walk through Purley Arms together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
His Korean war was sweaty, legs rough, toilets are smelly
There's food on his table already, Mr Benn's wotsits
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to get writers cramp,
But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down,
And I am, the Merchant of Venice
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, the Merchant of Venice
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
So lets go back
Follow the Pope’s plane as we go on another quiz
Journey with me as I take you through Purley Arms
I once used to call home sweet home
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at Trinidad now
And when I'm gone, its just writers cramp, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my sweaty Korean war
Just know that I'm looking down on you and drink
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just talk rubbish
*********************************************************************
Music
Over 9 Hit records were played twice. Most tracks and artists were identified trouble-free, but incidents of uncertainty (sometimes violent) were witnessed. The FCO is aware of an error on at least 2 questions involving a certain Mr Barry White and a song containing advice to ‘Runaway’. British nationals on 2nd October 2014 were advised to do their best and have a guess where they weren’t sure, however The Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) advise against all but correct answers.
Over 9 Hit records were played twice. Most tracks and artists were identified trouble-free, but incidents of uncertainty (sometimes violent) were witnessed. The FCO is aware of an error on at least 2 questions involving a certain Mr Barry White and a song containing advice to ‘Runaway’. British nationals on 2nd October 2014 were advised to do their best and have a guess where they weren’t sure, however The Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) advise against all but correct answers.
At approximately 22:27 GMT The Hound were
advised of a score 18/20. A number of media outlets were taken off air and some internet sites were blocked.
advised of a score 18/20. A number of media outlets were taken off air and some internet sites were blocked.
Despite an apparently high number of well considered answers the Hound were deemed to have scored a relatively paltry 125 points placing them 4th in the table when compared against other teams.It’s illegal to criticise the Quiz Mistress and you should be wary of questioning the scoring in public.
You should monitor this Blog, local news and social media for developments.
4 genres, one blog. Caps are generally doffed.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your doffage
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