Didier Dogba's Virtual Hound

It being the 24th April the quiz was naturally based mainly around Georges

Washington? Yes

Lucas? Yes

Bernard Shaw? YES

Peppard? Yes, yes, yes

Clinton? You’re damned tootin’

Hamilton? Naturellement

Lazenby, Foreman, Harrison & Burns? You better believe it

Boy? NO

And so the Hound managed a full house on the pictures round.

On to the quiz proper and as usual the Current affairs round threw up some oddities alongside the obvious;

1) Who this week took over from David Moyes?

2) What’s the aboriginal name for Ayres Rock

3) Which County of England has been officially recognised as a minority etc, etc

The only one that tripped us up was something about a Coronation Street actor being arrested for drink driving. Apparently it was some Barbara Knox who was arrested whilst picking her daughter up from court where she, herself, was on trial for drink driving. Some people!

There then followed another round connected to George’s which must have been rather dull as I can’t recall a single question asked. Something about St George’s Chapel being in Windsor Castle but our indifference to this round may have proved costly in the final reckoning.

The Connections round proved to be a bit more tricksy than normal. Try this one at home.

What connects the following?

Alaska

Jaguar

Gonzo the Great

Oasis

Novella

Abraham Lincoln

Geneva Convention

Twinkle, twinkle little star

I cant recall the 9^th one but we were confident we had all 9 clues but no connection. Robson hypothesized it was some sort of ‘code’ whilst Kevster ejaculated that it was ‘types of car’. Taking these advices on board I plumped for Strawberries (little Star suggesting some sort of Fruit/Veg).  The actual connection was……Peas. Well done to anyone who got that.

The Big 10 Pointers were dispatched fairly easily although there was some lively intercourse with regards the largest UK birds Egg, which did indeed turn out to be the Mute Swan’s.

Inexplicably the second half of the quiz is always a bit hazier than the first so you’ll need to bear with me on this.

The top 10 was ‘Countries that give foreign aid’. In our deliberations I think we managed to name 195 or so but settled on 10 that we all fully agreed were indeed countries. The actual answer was;

U.S.

U.K

Japan

France

U.A.E

Germany

Sweden

Netherlands

Canada

Spain

We got the first 6 but much to Kevster’s chagrin we ignored Canada (again – it’s always bleedin’ Canada). Who even knew that Spain had enough money to be giving foreign aid?

The Wipe-out round was played tactically and we did well to heed Robson’s advice to steer clear of the ‘Last Port the Titanic left’ question. If only they’d done so well with the iceberg.

A Hendecagon has 11 sides apparently and we correctly identified Officer Mallory as appearing on the Monopoly Board.

The music round was relatively easy and we scored 18/20. I can recall Itchycoo Park, Dreams by the Cranberries, Edward Collins, Blockbuster and that’s about it I’m afraid.

The final question for the chocolates was how many words can Punch the Parrott talk – 1,728 is the somewhat surprising answer which is only about a 1,000 more than I could manage by that stage of the evening.

Second by a point – 142 to 141. Onwards to next week although there is the Charity quizthis Saturday night at which the hound will be represented. More of that in next week’s edition.

Maundy Hound

17th April 2014

All Over The Damn Place

History has thrown up, no slightly delayed, alcohol-induced, pun intended, a number of notable Odyssies...

There was of course the biblical odyssey of Moses and his bewitched Israelites careering across Egyptian deserts on the run from Pharaohs, plagues and random 'heavenly' events of masonry inscription and flammable horticulture.  There is also Homer's version - an equally ancient, non-animated, rollercoaster of a poem spread across far more than Blackadder's mere 400 chapters and served up with lashings of Gods and Goddesses as well as sizzling gypsies. And, lest anybody dare forget, there is also the New York based, late seventies, disco outfit best known for their classic hit, 'Native New Yorker'.  And now let modern history lick the stub of its pencil and add to this venerable list another, equally momentous, Odyssey.

For some reason, not subsequently recallable by any gathered thereto, Oxted (Ordnance Survey grid reference - TQ3593) had been selected as the venue of choice for this year's Maundy Thursday Hound pub-crawl.  Oxted is a small commuter parish located on the district of Tandridge in the Shire County of Surrey in England's South East region.  It is situated 17.9 miles from the centre of London, on the A25 just south of M25 in between Junction 6 and the mighty Clacket Lane service station, and served by Southern Rail on the line out of East Croydon towards either East Grinstead or Uckfield.  And thus are almost all your options for travelling there described.  Unless of course you choose to walk...

Robson Hound for reasons he never has made, nor ever will be able to make, clear had decided that walking to Oxted was very much an essential part of his Maundy Thursday routine this year.  And thus he set off on his Odyssey, sometime between dusk Wednesday and dawn Thursday to bound in his houndish manner southwards and slightly east following a prescribed route of almost 18 miles, avoiding all major thoroughfares, taking in as many fields, woods and something called 'views' as he could.  The rest of us used public transport to gather at East Croydon station, availed ourselves of beer on the platform before concluding the first stage of our Odyssey whilst seated and air-conditioned.

Having arrived through differing means the Hound converged upon The Old Bell and unified to begin this Odyssey's second chapter.  Food was ordered, mobile coverage was disdained, wifi was taken advantage of, thirst quenching beers were sunk and small-talk was made.  Lord Peterkins of Fatherhood arrived, having been previously occupied at something called a 'meeting' and made the quartet into a quintet.  No sooner had he taken his tie off, and swapped his brogues for some slingbacks, than we were off.  Across roads, up inclines, veering left and right - onto pathways, bridleways even and then out into open country.  We fanned out instinctively so as to reduce the threat of all being wiped out instantly by an enemy attack.  And wise we were to have done so as over the very next stile we encountered our enemy.  Skirting round the details it should be sufficient to say that Robson almost had a complete Mare whilst the rest of us legged it at a leisurely pace into the welcoming ambience of The Hay Cutter. 

No-one could find the Hay Cutter's advertised skittle-alley so Robson Hound broke out a deck of cards and the Hound did *ahem* 'joué au tête-de-merde', as our cross Channel chein-cousins might woof...  We played two-pints worth of games and Robson lost pretty much all of them which merely serves him right.  We ate snacks (Wotsits?) and then we left.

Taking the collective life in the collective paws we returned across the fields of earlier treachery, bestriding once more the mighty river Eden, before eventually alighting on bar-stools in The George - in which absolutely nothing of note happened beyond the consumption of another pint each.

Thereafter it's all increasingly 'pffffffff...'

Let the record show that we were joined in the next pub, The Wheatsheaf, by Sir Daniel of Bronsonland who was most welcome.  Thereafter a collective assault was successfully made upon The Crown where once again we quaffed their beer and taunted them with our joué au tête-de-merde...  I don't specifically recall leaving but clearly we did as there is photo evidence of us in the literally horrid Weatherspoons next to Oxted station - from which we inexplicably liberated an entire set of condiment - and then the second chapter of the Odyssey was over and we were on a train and bound for the traditional Thursday evening quiz in the Purley Arms...

Memories of the actual quiz aren't really sufficient to build any sort of narrative on - the first round was pictures of famous vehicles (Magnum's Ferrari, the Partridge Family bus, Herbie, Marty McFly's DeLorean, etc) and thereafter things started to fall apart...  One of us left to go home, one of us left the others to chat to some Dorises at the bar, one of the remaining three went to retrieve the Doris chatterer and ended up staying there chatting to them himself, and eventually the two of us remaining came second in the quiz AND missed out on the sweets.

The trip home is foggy but memorable for discovering a three quarter full pot of black pepper in my jeans along with three other condiment bottles in my coat pockets all of which I arranged and left on a train seat.  The traditional large chicken shish with garlic mayo was traditionally epic and then the oddest of Odyssies was over.

*edit*
Robson Hound's incriminating photos of the day can be viewed here...
Robson's Maundy Thursday - A Hound's Tale...

Catherine Hound

Another Thursday, Graham hauled himself off his sickbed to join Steve, Daren, Kevster and myself and we were good to go. Pre quiz and Kevster gave out the stats for the hits on the blog and we're on the brink of going viral. There's also a curiously international readership so how do you do, vorsprung durch technik, yo or Tyskie as appropriate. Is were dotted and ts crossed for the forthcoming Oxted trip about which more in next week's blog though if it goes to form, we won't remember much. Right, onto the quiz and we kicked off with a round of Catherines, Kates or Kathys if you will. Naturally, the likes of Hudson, The Great, Winslet, Of Aragon were expected and sure enough, none were there. We did ok though, just missing out on some sour-faced soap actress plus another whom I haven't a clue about who she is or what she does. Favourite Kate was a toss up between Blanchett and Moss, who's bedroom Graham has visited, with Middleton a distant third. In the right circumstances though, any of the ten probably would work. Next up, current affairs and the body before guess the connection. Kevster was looking good with pork pie ingredients before Jerry Springer nicked it for Graham and hounds (strictly I think a gundog). The 10 pointers were disdainfully swatted away and onto the break in a good position. Top ten and UK tourist destinations. Right, in what world would Leeds, Birmingham and Bristol qualify. Most weirdly, Llandudno? Maybe we're all missing something. Wipeout and this week's banana skin was film-based and in what film were the words "Go ahead, make my day" first uttered. Feeling lucky we went with Dirty Harry but it turned out to be Sudden Impact rendering potential answers of Old Bailey, Joe Orton and Brooke Bond moot. Not bad music, Frida Paine, Tubeway Army and Ken Boothe all featuring. The wipeout was too much to overcome and joint second resulted. One more thing to say, 58084. Boom!

Twelve minutes to nine Hound...

Thursday 3rd April 2014
Purley Arms

Following last week's comfortable and convenient end to our previously impressive winning run The Hound gathered once more to go full tilt at starting another successful streak.  Steve Hound had sent prior apologies for absence and Lord Peterkins of Fathershire was attending to matters even more infantile than we were.  No pre-match meals of note, except for the Hound himself who partook of Singapore Noodles whilst on the train.  Although, now that I think more about it maybe that was the previous week...

Anyway, having gathered for our weekly social time together we immediately spent the first two pints worth locked in individual battles against our array of phones, pods and pads in an attempt to rack up the highest possible score on the all new, all conquering, '2048' puzzle - available now at your local app store.  A number of impressive personal bests were notched up and then, in a cruel twist to the advertised prize, the winner of the highest 2048 score competition ended up buying packets of Wotsits for the other competitors - not entirely sure that was what he'd had in mind but there you go.

The first round was pictures of Famous Jacks - Dee, Straw, Nicholson, Sparrow, Charlton etc.  The Hound fairly spattered itself in glory, stopping just one correct answer short of completely covering itself - all of us failing to recognise the hugely indistinguishable Jack Dorsey (who invented something to do with the interwebs - tweet your suggestions to @anonymouswebgeek using the hashtag, #whogivesatoss).

Looking through my notes for the remainder of the evening I seem to have recorded stuff we got right much more than the (more interesting) stuff we got wrong but, a potted nutshell of it includes;

- knowing that Dolce & Gabanna had massively disrespected Vicky Beckham's designer range #harkatus
- knowing the price of new 'top-of-the-range' England football shirt was £90 #coolingtechnology
- guessing that three couples married on the same day in the same church had just achieved 180 years of combined marital tedium bliss #diamond
- blowing out on the Jeopardy round despite knowing that Timothy the mouse was Dumbo's mate, the Ballroom is the earliest alphabetical Cluedo room and Cambridge have more Boat Race wins than Oxford #noughtoutoften
- not knowing that the soup whose main ingredient is a calves head is known as Mock Turtle Soup #easywhenyouknow
- guessing that the answers in the connections round (Joanna Lumley, Spike Milligan, Gerald Durrell, Cliff Richard et al) were connected by having been born in India, with special mention to Robson Hound for identifying this connection after just one answer #freak
- getting all three of the 10 point bonus questions right (Camponology; Viginia Wade's beaten '77 final opponent; Tarzan author) #seeanswersbelow
- more or less blitzing the music round merely confusing Liberty X for Hearsay #allsoundsthesame
- the Top Ten round...

... Ah yes, the Top Ten round - source of increasing puzzlement and frustration.  This week's nonsense was name Britain's top ten most hated foods as according to a survey by a fridge manufacturer...  After much huffing, puffing, scribbling, arguing, crossing-out, grumbling and rewriting we submitted a list which (I think) only had four correct answers on it - apparently we should've written; Snails, Tripe, Oysters, Squid, Anchovies, Black Pudding, Kidneys, Olives, Cockles and Liver.  #absolutelyoffal

And then we topped that off by getting the 'box of Quality Street' questions massively wrong as well - collective number of years prison sentence handed down the the Great Train Robbers - we said 86, whereas 307 was actually correct.  #thievingtoerags

So we didn't win the sweets and we didn't win the consolation prize of £50 cash either - for the second week on the trot finishing runners up.  #longoverdueawin

Which merely leaves me to say that the now traditional post-match meal, cooldown and ice-bath were all epic.  Again.

* answers to the three ten point bonus questions - bell ringer, Bette Stove and Edgar Rice Burroughs

#thatsallfolks

The Archdeacon of Bedford...

Thursday 27th March 2014
Purley Arms
(written by The Greenest Hound - posted by Kevster)


The Hound gathered one by one at the Purley Arms, arrival timings staggered by circa 5 minutes in what appeared to Daren, being the first arrival, as a deliberate plot to make him go to the bar and buy 5 individual drinks. No exciting pre-match dinner stories surfaced, although it was noted that the "Arms" was actually doing food on this spring evening, a first since July 2013 if I'm not mistaken.

The first round consisted of anagrams of Oscar winning actors and actresses which we duly rattled through quickly, although Graham's exclamation of William Robins would have got Mr Spooner very excited. Perhaps the most coincidentally remarkable would have been that Clint Eastwood creates the anagram Old West Action! A fine 10/10 in this round.

Full list:

MONK HATS (TOM HANKS), OLD WEST ACTION (CLINT EASTWOOD), RESTYLE PERM (MERYL STREEP), ALLOW MINI RIBS (ROBIN WILLIAMS), OPULENCE PREZ (PENELOPE CRUZ), CANYON SNEER (SEAN CONNERY), UNCORKS BALLAD (SANDRA BULLOCK), WENT TALKIES (KATE WINSLET), CIAO PLAN (AL PACINO) & RAREY BLEH (HALLE BERRY).

The second round as usual was on current affairs, the usual tabloid "stories" abounded with the Hound scoring a reasonable 8/10, the two incorrect being where the party Prince Harry and his current squeeze had chosen to holiday (Khazakstan apparently rather than Barbados) and the number of former followers of the deposed Egyptian President Morsi who faced a death sentence (528 rather than the Hound's 546).

3rd round focussed on Mothers, being immediately prior to Mother's day, to which a full house of points was garnered through a full team contribution. A conversation subsequently ensued that Gin (Mother's ruin) was actually just flavoured Vodka, which it is!

4th round, the connections round, started with a question on who was the British cycling athlete who had won the Champs Elysee stage of the TDF on no less than four consecutive occasions. Cavendish the answer, Robson immediately touted the connection as the Great Escape. A speculation the remaining 80% of the team were dubious to accept at such an early stage. Following further questions on Thunderbird 2's pilot (Virgil), Harry Enfield's greek arsenal supporter (Stavros)and where the Royal regatta is staged (Henly)the fog started to clear and the connection was confirmed. There was not the least bit of gloating by Robson though and no insistence that this feat was recorded in the blog was thrust upon the minute taker! A sound 9/10.

A full 30 in the three 10 pointer questions started to add to the uneasy feeling starting to develop having won the last three quizzes, the last donating the money to Sport Relief. It became clear that pre-agreed strategies may need to come into play to keep the locals from becoming (more) restless. Questions were: Colour of Double word square in Scrabble (Pink), Russian Premier in 1991 (Yeltzin) and whose advertising tag line was "The appliance of science" (Zanussi).

Mid quiz break and amongst the furious Googling for previous unsureties, Graham returned from his turn in the chair at the bar clutching two large packets of Flaming Hot Mega Monster Munch (20% extra no less). Sustenance gratefully received by the team, they were demolished in mere seconds.

Round 5 was the top ten BBC comedies as surveyed in 2010. Much deliberation and shouts of "no, Channel 4!", "that was ITV", "did anyone really like that!", we settled on our 10. I believe we got 7 but they were rattled through so quickly I cannot be sure, my reactions dulled by the imbibing of a number of Hop based effervescent beverages. Most notable exclusion from our list was Yes Minister.

Daren piped up that he likes Bottom, out of the blue which was rapidly brushed over, as there was no evidence that this was related to the last round or not.

Jeopardy next. Exit strategy already agreed up front we answered all ten sensibly, actually gaining an admirable 8 on which we were confident, failing only on number of counties in Ireland (32 to our 33) and first film with both Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks (Joe vs the Volcano to our Sleepless in Seattle). Wipeout no points and no face lost.

Last round music as usual and even Graham's extensive musical knowledge was stretched with Einstein a Go Go confused with Blondie and Stereophonics confused with the original version of Handbags. An acceptable 13 in that round.

Chocolates win missed out on by 1 year. First year Premium Bonds issued (1955 to our 1956).

The Hound were second by 16 points, incidentally the points we "threw" in the jeopardy round, and honour was restored.

We all departed our separate ways into the night, Kevster's beeline for what is now known as the Epic chicken kebab. He's just saying.....

Gloves off next Thursday and no pulling punches.